STUCK AT 14: Reactions, puberty, hard-wiring and what the F to do about it

(photo by: Rachel Julia)

was thinking recently
about reactions.

in particular, my reactions
2 what happens
in my external world.

then i heard joe rogan’s podcast
when melissa etheridge was on,
one of the best interviews i’ve heard,
and they talked about how we react
other than the age
that we actuall are.

id really like to react
as the 27 year old version
of Jacob,
but find that frequently,
i react like 14 year old version
of me.

started to consider
what causes this.

i think when we are
stressed or challenged,
or in confrontive situations,
we often revert back
to the least of what we know.

much of our emotional coping
is formulated
in our teen years.

first loves, the stress of high school,
the assimilation of information
shit that goes on at home
all of it -
it wires us to react
in certain ways.

seems like the wiring stays,
unless we consciously change it.
it becomes a part of how we roll
for our adult live.

the best way i’ve found
to change this -
is simply to be aware
of how i’m reacting
and to consider:

is this how i really
ought to be reacting
to this situation,
OR:
is this partly my ego
and my 14 year old self?

if you’re conscious of it,
it’ll blow your mind
how deeply you’re wired.
back to those teen years.

it’ll equally blow your mind
how simply being aware of it
will shift everything.

#TuneUp
#GetIn

VIDEO: RPMWEST Perfect Jeans, Delivered (by my best friend)

manuel rappard
launched his kickstarter campaign
for his new jean line, RPMWEST.

in many ways,
manuel and i grew up together
young 20-year-olds
turning it in NYC.

after graduating stern NYU,
moving to SF,
crushing it at Google,
then venturing out,
manuel has gone back to something
that has been at his core:
style, entrepreneurship, fashion.

his kickstarter campaign
already 25% funded
(it’s been live for less than 24 hours),
no surprise 2 me,
for as kids,
when we were building my first ABC show,
manuel was chiefly concerned
with  how the audience perceived the brand –
his attention to detail was foreign 2 me.

as i get older,
i obsess over details…
i credit manuel
with teaching me how.

for those that know manuel,
RPMWEST is more than just a startup
it’s the fulfillment of a dream
and a higher calling 2 create
something lasting and of high quality.

when i was 20,
i told manuel how much i loved his jeans
they were a pair of $250 jeans from Europe.
i had never worn
a pair of jeans
that cost more than $49 from the GAP
in my life.

the next day,
manuel put those jeans
in a box
and gave it to me as a present.
my first $250 pair of jeans.
i could feel the difference.
i still do when i wear them today,
seven years later.

something tells me
when you wear a pair of RPMWEST,
you’ll feel the difference too.

now go and buy a goddamn pair 
of RPMWEST
by clicking here

 

Why Is It Taking So Long For Me to Experience What I Want?

the number one gripe
i get from people i coach
is this:

“if i follow all this manifestation
mumbo jumbo,
if i am clear, and then detach,
from what it is i’m wanting
(money, love, more time, a new job)
why  does it take so long
for the things i want
to show up in my life?”

all the greats -
deepak chopra, tony robbins, fred dodson -
will tell you
that in this physical space-time reality
it sometimes takes a minute
or a month
or a year
for something to show up.

but why?

WHY?

i was thinking about it recently -
about what we’re supposed to do in the meantime.
and how these Laws of the Universe
really work.

let’s say we’re looking for our dream home on the ocean
and it’s not currently in our reality -
the best thing to do,
after being clear about what it is you want,
is find ways to feel good
now, now
NOW and NOW.

you wouldn’t want all the food
you’ll ever eat in your lifetime
during one dinner setting,
would you?

of course not.
food is nutricious,
but mostly delicious.
the enjoyment of the food
is that it is consistently
apart of your reality,
a variety, some good, some bad -
and you get to get clearer
on what it is you like
and what it is you don’t.

same with your
desires &
dreams.

even the light, energy and life
we get from the SUN,
takes 7-minutes to get to us.

it travels through 92-million miles
of nothingness
to get to us.

things take time
it doesn’t mean it’s not coming.

if something in your life
has caused you to put our a desire,
it’s already on it’s way.

just sit back, trust, enjoy whatever is NOW
and acknowledge with gratitude
when your manifestation comes.

 

 

Why Your Relationship Might Just be Fucked (and how that’s perfectly OK)

my agent and i recently parted ways
a ka-trillion dollar deal down the drain,
it’s forced me inward
without any distractions.

this agent
i had him once before
in 2005.
he parted ways with me then
said “i didn’t know my voice.”

i began to consider
why when people part ways,
they often come back together.

in business,
or in romance.

i was dating someone
who said he believed it’s about
“until mis-alignment do us part”
instead of  ”until death do us part.”

people come together
because they are aligned.
they split up
because they become mis-aligned.

i found this a curious idea.

then i thought about
how when people split up
they should probably stay split up.

this includes me.

see here’s the thing:
people come in for a reason,
a season,
a lifetime.

if it’s a reason or a season,
there are usually big lessons to boot.

focusing on your lessons
will lead you toward growth.

splitting up is not a bad thing,
it actually honors the continuation of life.
the balance of the universe.

where it gets cocked up
is when we try to come back together
with what we “used to have.”

the exception of course is
if the other person
has done the work
and the universe brings you back
together.

but: the work cannot be done
with the intention of getting something
or getting that person back.

for example:
“let’s get back together,
but promise me we’ll go to therapy.”
wrong.
gotta do the work on your own.

i recently broke up with someone
who suggested that we simply
“chant about it” (he’s a Buddhist).
he couldn’t understand
that this wasn’t about fixing anything
it was honoring the mis-alignment.

mis-alignment is not a precursor
for alignment once again.

honor it. feel it. it’s a continuation,
not a loss.
let it go, with Love.

when someone leaves your life,
send them on their way
with an attitude of gratitude
for all that they’ve shown you.

 

May 1, 2001: The Day I Became A Teen Magician & The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

the photo above is of me
at age 14
doing a magic trick
for my friend maxx.

i was a freshman in high school
when the local newspaper
wrote about how i was being scouted
by the tonight show with jay leno
as one of the youngest teen magicians
in the USA.

(you can read that article
by clicking here)

12 years ago today
i got hired by Bette Thibeault,
a superintendent of schools
in Turner, Maine
to do my first magic show ever
in front of 200 people.

i’d perform 6 magic tricks
over an hour period.

i was paid $75.

that moment changed my life.
months prior,
i had been talking about learning magic,
i had done card tricks and WoW’ed friends,
and finally Bette, who was also my massage therapist
(yes, I had a massage therapist at the age of 14)
said
“Fine, you want to be this big magician,
I’ll hire you — come do your first show
may 1, 2001.”

she called my bluff
and at 14, i shat myself.
i said no to her, twice.
i told her i wasn’t ready.
thanks but not thanks,

but bette, a 50-something powerful woman,
who you don’t say no to,
insisted.
she refused to take NO.
“if you’re not ready,
then you better get ready.
i just hired you.”

i finally agreed,
and i was so lucky
that at 14,
i was being taught
in a most public way,
how to never say NO to opportunity.

magic taught me
how to remember everyones name
at a table
when i used to perform
at restuarants.

magic taught me how fun it is
to create and believe in an illusion.

magic taught me that i could make $300
for an hour’s worth of my time;
it taught me how to value my time
exponentially more
than other 14 year olds.

magic taught me how to create
alternate realities;
it taught me that it’s far more fun
to create the reality i dream of,
simply by saying THAT IT EXISTS,
rather than buying into someone else’s reality.

i’d often fuck up my tricks in front of hundreds of people,
magic taught me that it’s more fun to make mistakes anyways
and that you don’t die because of it.

i don’t do magic much anymore,
i did probably 200 shows when i was younger
and moved on to TV.

but every may 1,
i think about how lucky i was
to have bette thibeault kick me in the ass.

how lucky i was to have bob nixon,
who was a master magician,
and taught me how to entertain people,
not just do magic for them.

how lucky i was to have two parents
who carted me off to several magic shows every month,
without asking for a dime of the $300/show i charged.

we all start somewhere,
and we can all support and love each other
through the uncomfortable growth periods in our lives.

bette thibeault, bob nixon, my mom and dad
did this for me.

it’s our duty to help each other thrive.
there is much abundance here for us all.

#ThankYouBette